Have you ever being in situations whereby you wish to be told the truth but all you are hearing is lies? Do you need straightforward answer from your subordinate or colleague but you are always being deceived?
I had once been present at a scene where a woman told one of her worker that “I know that’s a lie, now tell me the truth.” And the worker who had told series of lies, changed his words and started telling his boss the truth. Yes I was there. People called it charm but it really wasn’t a charm. All the woman did was to use some practical truthful techniques and the worker was persuaded to tell the truth.
Below are practical techniques that you can also use to make people tell you the truth always. Yes they are practical and you can learn them.
1. Discover His/her Hobbies and Place the Person under Pleasure
Many people tend to tell the truth when they are being placed under pleasure. That is why you see a man who is drunk telling you all of his secrets.
If you want to hear the truth from someone then try to place the person under pleasure of his/her hobbies; bring food, bring beverages, if it’s a man who love the sight of ladies, go along with pretty ladies. It presents you as a likeable personnel and makes him/her feel indebted to you. And truth is let out.
2. Don’t Ask Uncertain Questions.
When you want to make someone to tell you the truth don’t ask questions; make it straight. Just like the illustration above – “I know that’s a lie”. So now tell me the truth!!! Make the person realize that you have found out what has happened and you just want the person to conspire with you on what you had already found out.
- For example instead of asking your junior colleague “Did you take the file?” and make him/her seem like you are not sure, ask “The file is with you so where did you keep the file now?”
3. Don’t Be Snappish.
Though you are likely to get angry when you find out that you are being deceived or that someone it telling you a lie especially if the person is your subordinate; your child, your worker or junior colleague, or your younger one. But if you sincerely want to hear the truth you need to be soft spoken (even though you might be required to take harsh steps if necessary after you have enquired but to get the truth you need to be calm).
Be sympathetic, someone who is guilty of telling a lie is scared that s/he might not be understood. So show signs of understanding. Make the fellow feel s/he will be forgiven when they reveal the truth to you.
4. Explain To the Person That the Truth Is “No Big Deal”
Most people tell lies because they see the truth as a big deal. So if you want a person to reveal the truth about a thing or an incidence to you, you must explain and convince the person that telling the truth is of no big deal.
You can also do this by sharing a personal or related story with the person, to get the person connected.
- For example your under aged daughter came home late and you suspected she went to a boy’s house, but when you asked her she began to tell you lies, you can make her tell you the truth by telling her this -: During my secondary school days, I fell in love with a boy, we went into secret relationship for a long time then he called me one day and lied to me that he was sick. Being a lover girl I sneaked out of the house not informing my mother and rushed quickly to his house only to realize that it was a trick. On getting to his house, he locked the door at me and wanted to rape me. I was rescued by grace when a neighbor wanted to charge his phone in my boyfriend’s house and he was hearing me cry for help. “He would have terminated my big dreams”. This story or any other related one would make your daughter get connected and feel entitled to tell you where she went to.
5. Boost an eye Contact.
If you are trying to persuade someone to tell you the truth, make the person look directly into your eyes while talking to you. Most people find it difficult to lie to people when being enclosed with an eye to eye contact especially if the victim is a subordinate.
6. Accuse the Person of a Superior Crime
When you are trying to get the truth from someone, you might be required to accuse the person of a crime greater than the one you presume s/he has committed in such way the person will feel that the only way to be safe from false accusations is to tell you the truth.
- For example you found out that about 2 creates of eggs got missing in your poultry farm and you traced the act to one of your workers. Instead of accusing the worker of just the 2 creates, accuse the worker of taking 10 creates by that s/he would feel the only way to be free from such false allegation is to tell you s/he took only 2 crates.
7. Pick up Close Evidences Earlier before the Discussion.
This should be the last process and should only be done possibly if #1 – #6 didn’t work well.
A sure fire way to get the truth from people is to hold by close evidences. Evidences that points at the truth you are trying to figure out. Be sure to have gathered the evidences before you make any confrontation so as to get the real source.
- For example if you accusing your under aged daughter of unwanted relationship, you should have picked up required evidences before confronting her; like checked her phone for love messages, monitor her call logs etc.
Note; if it happens that you are going to be alone with the accused in a closed area be sure you have various duplicates of your evidences and make it known to the person. This way it will prevent the person from being violent.
You want to tell the truth but you are always scared of facing it, there are some forces attacking your courage which you need to fight back Asap before they take over. Read my “Little known facts that could affect your courage.”
Author: Daniel Moayanda
Dan. is a young strategist, motivational writer and public speaker. He provides entrepreneurs with success strategies and backs it up with the right motivation needed to explore. He also writes about finding a way out of everything in general!